Morning has broken

My Brother hasn't moved or spoken since yesterday at 1pm.  The stillness is peaceful. After the restless, painful, scary Tuesday and into early Wednesday, I feel God's mercy.   Not as I pictured it but peaceful just the same.   I listen to his breathing now, not with fear of his last breath. I slept on the love seat restfully.  I woke up twice in the night to stillness. Just the sound of him breathing.
I thought I'd made friends with the pain of my Brother dying.  I fought it pretty hard though. My words to myself in journal form have helped, but as I reread them now I see the complicated, controlling journey I chose..
I'm a tough cookie, I've always told myself.  I don't throw my hands up.  I don't take to my pallet.  I have endurance and stamina and I don't throw pity parties. I always try to do whats right and I think of others first.  These are my conscious values.  I thought heading into this I had what I needed to be with my Brother every step of the way. I did but after much struggling I find that I need God's Grace.
I am aware now that Grace will peacefully do the rest.
I'm not throwing my hands up.  I am folding them in surrendered prayer.
Please join me.


  1. I am with you in spirit, hands folded. More love and hugs again for you both today. Thank you for your written words. ~karin

  2. Thank you for this gift.
    I think he is flying right now. When he finds just the right place to land he will choose it.
    Prayers sent.

  3. My prayers have been with you all and will continue threw these tuff days and nights.

  4. May all our prayers intertwine to lift you up, Bruce, and bring you a soft landing into Gods' arms.

  5. Beth, may you enjoy the light and peace of God's grace. Amen.

  6. Thank you Beth for artculating the Assurance, Wisdom, Love and Hope from the depths of your journey with Bruce. Gifts from God, Creato and Great Spirit. You are such a wonderful messenger. May Peace be with you and all who form this loving vigil. Hallelujah and Amen!

  7. Grace = God's redemption at Christ's expense
    Bless you Beth.
    Prayers from our church prayer warriors

  8. I sense Bruce everywhere tonight in his precious Bootheel. The moon is big. The wind is wild. Everything changing, this morning crazy odd warmth, evocative sunrise and sunset. I think nature is connected in ways we can't imagine. Just now I envisioned Bruce leaping over Gray Mountain, joyful. Its a very strong image. Love and strength to you all.

  9. He'll be enhancing our sunrises and sunsets for years to come.